Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Prelude Fin

This is the final piece to my Prelude series. I used 3ww to fashion it with the three word of this week : Vulgar, Praise and Gentle.

Enjoy.

Prelude Fin


Julie’s Halo spouted small antennas from the silver discs covering her temples. Her consciousness slipped through blackness and into a white-blue light. Disembodied, she floated upright behind her corporal body in the hovercraft’s cockpit. In the lower left corner of her vision, stats on the hovercraft and the three bots within the craft scrolled as tiny tendrils of light reach out from her and touched various systems; navigation, propulsion, Doppler radar and many others. Mentally she reached out to the vast Martian Pylon to access its systems but failed. ‘Access Denied’ flashed in the lower right area of her vision.

Using the hovercraft’s speakers, she said “Victor, can you hear me?

“Loud and clear”, she heard back.

“I can’t access the Pylon from here. I’m going to leave the shuttle and try to enter.”

“Excellent idea. Just remember to be gentle, that’s Iglesia Corp. property after all.”

Julie willed herself through the hull and stopped with a small gasp outside. Sprawling before her, the Pylon could not be seen in its entirety; its apex hidden in thick clouds. Great panels of dark metal covered the exterior. Every other panel had a grilled vent. The lower ones drew in the Martian atmosphere. The upper ones gushed out converted earth-like air. Red rust accented its edges.

Within her vision, calculations of distance and material lists scrolled next to objects she focused on.

Access shuttle communications, she thought. A holographic screen appeared in front of her simulating the communications interface on the hovercraft. She reached out her fingers and tapped the holographic interface. With her halo eyes she watched a channel connection appear like a beam of green light. The light ended on a panel just under the clouds heavily covered in red.

Julie looked down at the hovercraft. Tiny communication hubs showed her where the three bots were located. She focused on the one in the back of the hovercraft and accessed its audio and visual abilities. A small screen opened up before her. Victor was wrenching a metal cylinder. His white shirt was messed with dark smears.

“How are the injectors?” spoke Julie through the bot.

Victor continued to work but smiled broadly. “All ready reaching into their heads. Good. Good.”

Julie felt a little uncomfortable with his praise.

Victor’s wrench slipped. He swore loudly dropping the wrench and clutching his hand.

“No vulgarities please Mr. Vaudeville.” Julie giggled as Victor smirked.

“So have you figured out the problem yet,” he asked.

“According to the visual scans and rusted communications section of the Pylon, I’d say it is just wear and tear interfering with the true numbers.”

“That was fast.”

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew. I wanted to see how long it took you to discover it. There is a maintenance crew all ready on their way.” Victor flexed his fingers and smiled. “We can leave when you’re ready.”

She felt comfortable controlling the bot before Victor. She could give it commands, control its voice and see what it could see. She knew--- no felt--- the presence of the other two. The rush of power was intoxicating. The hovercraft was hers to control and with a little effort, she knew she could command the Pylon…

‘Emergence Shutdown Warning’ scrolled over Julie’s vision.

“What’s happening?” asked Julie through the bot.

“Ah. That’s the newest improvement to the Halo technology. At twenty-five minutes of continual usage, you get a warning. At thirty minutes, the Halo automatically shuts down to prevent, what the news coined as Halo Burn.”

“Halo Burn?”

“Well, in essence, brain burn. It’s to prevent the nano wires from digging... too deep.”

Victor walked away, calling back over his shoulder. “Now let’s get you back to the Olympus Mon Port and your first assignment.”

“Which is?” called Julie from the cockpit.

Victor plopped into the pilot’s seat. “Why finding a safe passage through the Kuiper Belt, of course.” He turned and faced Julie with a broad smile, “Iglesia Corp. is looking to expand.”

12 comments:

  1. Taken together, this series is a fantastic look into a created future world where corporate greed trumps the human condition. It's edgy, there's great dialogue and in reading, you get a visual of the world. Nicely done, Tim.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A few typos, but smooth and easy to read. As I think I've mentioned here before, you have a gift for telling a story in a strange place that doesn't feel strange. You make the unfamiliar feel familiar.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks ThomG: I’ve enjoyed testing new ideas and flushing out others.

    Bunnygirl: I posted a first draft to meet a personal deadline. I think I fixed it. Thank you for reading.

    -Tim

    ReplyDelete
  4. Auto shutdown to prevent too much of a good thing. If only there were auto shutdowns for indulgencies in real life.

    Victor particularly surprised me in this portion. I first took him for a fast talking salesman that would not get his hands dirty. In this part he's playing a futuristic mechanic; more facets to this guy than meets the eye.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A great science fictional creation there. Enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. i liked this ... even read previous two parts ! interesting story :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. i dont like science fiction much but this i must admit - i liked :)

    http://bit.ly/9JWQ0M

    ReplyDelete
  8. Glad the brain fluid leaks didn't affect Julie's abilities.

    Well done. The visuals in the first paragraph tantalized. Like Jay said, I was surprised to see Victor dirty--interesting guy. Hope we learn more about him when you do the parts after the prelude.

    Now, go write the story!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The journey continues to be interesting. Let's see about that expansion...

    ReplyDelete
  10. A nice job on this; I got caught up in the world building even thought it's the first installment I've read. You did a brilliant job on the visuals too. Good stuff. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I jumped in and read this part first, but still felt engaged and interested. Vivid descriptions, clean story elements. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

-Ernest Hemingway